The Malaysian Indian e-Community

MIRUGAM · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:02 am Post subject: Hugging culture. What you think?

hi friends....

I like to hug...so i always hug my babies and other half. It is such a great feeling being hugged and giving hugs.

I love to hugs my friends too but i have to refrain myself from doing so because we weren't brought up in such manner, specially hugging the opposite gender is a big NO.

Recently, i attended a funeral. The widow was crying and screaming...the husband was just 42....you can imagine her sorrow. What irked me is that no one tried to console her by hugging her tightly and assuring her...

I think we should change this culture....we should encourage our children to hug as a way to express themselves. Smile

Bruce Lee · Posted: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:44 pm Post subject:

well i believe hugging is western culture...frm wat i see in movies...its the norm there....but for indians i think they stil hv long way to go....but the new generations have made sum headway though.....good luck huh....

rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620

hugging culture is fine.

just be sure the other person is comfortable wit it before doing so.

Balanitha · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 10:25 am Post subject:

Hugging is not our culture.... touching an elders feet for blessing and or joining ur two palms wishing vanakam and saying a heartful "vanga", eppadi irukinga or nalla irukingala with mouthful of smile is our culture.

We cannot be hugging all frenz, relatives and ppl we know... as most of us were not brough up like that...... we were thought to say the word "vanga", nalla irukingala, utkarunga and give them a glass of water before talk further.

But i do hug my three best friends (2 females & a male) when we meet. That is because we hardly meet.... once in 3 months maybe....

The most important thing is the other party should feel comfortable with ur hug and depends where and when you are doing it. Make sure its not going to create any misunderstanding with their partner.
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rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620

most important, it should be sincere, not with some hidden motive Laughing

VJeyaa · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:08 pm Post subject:

This brings to mind that hugging "Amma" as they call the white robed lady who goes around the world hugging everyone and smiling at them. DOnt recall her name though. Some people says they were cured of diseases when she hugged them. Have you heard?
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES.

MIRUGAM · Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject:

Yeah Amma is very famous and she has many followers who believe that hugging her make them fee better.

Nitha, we are adapting many cultures which is not ours, why not hugging?
We should try to assmilate good values to our own values to improve our quality of life.

Hugging is emotionally very soothing and beneficial for healthy mind.

rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620

a simple hug can make so many ppl feel nice.

esp parents. how many of us here hug our father?

Balanitha · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:05 am Post subject:

VJeyaa · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:02 pm Post subject:

I beleive this discussion is about hugging between platonic freinds, much like what you see in western culture. This is what I am inclined to think because hugging as we know it, is pretty common in every culture between parents and children, close relatives and kins, etc. I hug my 2 daughters and son almost daily and I dont even consciously think about it. Its a reflection of a parents love for their children. The other day when my nephew who visited me came to my house, we also hugged and I dont see any issue in this too. I think this is common and I beleive the discussion is about something more than this, am I right? It is about freely hugging everyone whom you know as a freind or acquiantance regardless of gender, this is what you are asking about, isnt it?
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES.

rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620

MIRUGAM · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:04 pm Post subject:

Yeap....VJ, i do hug my kids every day. It is a must. Hugging them makes me feel so good and i'm sort of addicted to their hugs.

But sadly i don't hug my parents and siblings. I'm just not used to it. I feel awkward even to hug my sis. I don't want my kids to grow up this way.

I yearn to hug my friends, specially those who cry in front of me to make them feel better but again, i always feel awkward to do so.

VJeyaa · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:27 pm Post subject:

MIRUGAM · Posted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject:

VJ....i'm a very compassionate person Wink

and most of my girlfriends would come to me with their problems at office or home.....so I try my best to console them.

And i wish i could hug them and make them feel better. Cool

No VJ....my friends know my gender very well and they recognise the humanity in me...so, they cry for themselves Wink

rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620