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Invinsible
Newbie
Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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Not all women who are going through this problem seek outside pleasure or even go to the extend of divorcing their husband. Some of my friends are facing the same problem. Mostly the husband cites lack of mood, wife not atractive enough,stress. The funny part is, when they bring up the subject ...the husband accuse them of being horny!!!!... Sometimes the husband forgets that the wife has feelings too.
My friends say...they cant do much and sex isnt everthing in a marriage.Instead they focus on the children and other things. Life goes on for some women even without good sex or no sex at all. |
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Invinsible wrote: | Sometimes the husband forgets that the wife has feelings too.
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quite useless husband
nothing wrong if the wife runs away |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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We are not generalizing here. But since we have seen that it does happen and it is certainly not to be considered "isolated cases" since it is repeateable in parts of the world, then we need to accept that such things do occur since there is a tendency for this to happen. For some maybe it hasnt reached their threshold yet or they could have a higher tolerance level than those who stray. The difference in tolerance levels are understandable and only to be expected. But the question is what drives them beyond their threshold? WHat makes them flip? When does the breaking point occur? Why does it occur and how? .This is what we are interested in. When does having love becomes insufficient to hold the relationship together? When does the need for sex far exceeds the need for love that it breaks the relationship? Obviously it happens to some, certainly NOT to ALL.
So which is more powerful then, sex or love? That is the question.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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blackmafia
Junior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 167
Location: Deepest part of hell!!!!
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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hi makkale,
my opinion is....it depends on the induviduals....as we disscussed in the other topic about the sex outside marriage....
some says sex is love and some says sex is not love...
anyway love has no definition....the couple creates definition for their relationship....so some couples defines using sex as a tool of love....some defines using tolerance as love...some defines wealth as a tool of love....
so if the relationship can be sustained by love go ahead love each other....if some deem to use sex as a tool to make their relationship lasting then go ahead....
only love can suceed in the end.....sex well kinda will get boring if done often without love in relationship.....
it up to induviduals.....hahahahaha
my humble opinion  |
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baby_witch
Junior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 229
Location: Mud Valley
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 11:01 pm Post subject: |
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| VJeyaa wrote: | | baby_witch wrote: | | Is the desire stronger than the love for her husband? |
This is exactly what this topic is all about. Why do you think some married women are sleeping around with other men? Havent you heard of wives of Datuks going for Gigolos? They are rich and pampered (and loved dearly by their rich and older husbands)
and they have everything in their lives except satisfactory sex lives. Then one fine day they run off with their lovers. Since they are Datuks' wives, their case can be said to be high-profile. But what about the common ones who are sexually frustrated for years and years?
the love is not present here... why do they marry rich old men, you think... the love is not present here just the desire to all the riches thats it.. this cases are not to be taken into consideration,vjeeya. We know pretty well that these women are into the $$$$ the datuks have and marrying them not becoz of love... how could you compare i dun understand?
Again sex is not everything in a woman's life. I believe after certain period of time, you get more matured and you have responsibilities towards your children and your family on how to progress your family where you need to contribute in upgrading your family status... this is in long term.. i dun think all woman only thinks abt self satisfaction and sex all the time.. life has to go on... you have many more things in life to be taken care of.
color]
| baby_witch wrote: | | I believe that "A good Wife SHould love her husband regardless of what he is". She must be able to control her feelings and temptations.. Love is beyond everything in this universe!!! I still stand as SEX is just an act of LOVE... ? |
Well your stand is commendable but sadly, not everyone is subscribing to a stand like this. Otherwise this situation would not arise, would it? But to be honest, cases like this are not really uncommon here or elsewhere. Maybe it is more openly known in the West. |
[color=green]Sorry if I offend anyone, maybe i look very modern but i have to admit that my style of thinking is very very backward and I love to be such... call me outdated i dun care. I just want to be a pure indian woman and am proud to be one. Furthermore am not a Westerner...
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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| baby_witch wrote: | the love is not present here... why do they marry rich old men, you think... the love is not present here just the desire to all the riches thats it.. this cases are not to be taken into consideration,vjeeya. We know pretty well that these women are into the $$$$ the datuks have and marrying them not becoz of love... how could you compare i dun understand?
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It was just an illustration of my point. Besides that is not the only example that I gave. Anyway, we cannot talk about love being present or absent as if the presence or absence of love got nothing to do with our own will. To love or not to love is a conscious choice that is made by the man and woman. Love is a choice and it is an act of will! And the rich old men are not fools either to NOT know that the women they marry are only after their money. I do beleive that when someone consciously marry someone else and shares their life, love, good times, bad times, future and bed, they ALL start out with a shared love. At least at the start.
| baby_witch wrote: | | Sorry if I offend anyone, maybe i look very modern but i have to admit that my style of thinking is very very backward and I love to be such... call me outdated i dun care. I just want to be a pure indian woman and am proud to be one. Furthermore am not a Westerner... |
Well, this is not about being modern or backward or forward. This is just about discussing an issue without getting too emotional. 
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Tue May 20, 2008 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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Let me paint another picture that you can be more comfortable in then. How about a married couple whose wife strays because she is sexually frustrated and runs away with the plumber who comes to their house? Or the postman? Or the milkman? Sounds familiar? Its not just women, the same can happen with men who stray for this reason too. Is it such a surprise? I think not.
The rich old man was just a common example of what could happen when a woman is deprived sexually. Truth be told, it can happen in just about any situation or just about anyone. Whether one admits or not this is the stark truth. There is nothing backward or frontward about this. Its a fact.
p/s: And please dont get me wrong. I am not saying that women will run away with plumbers, milkmen and postmen all the time. I am NOT saying that. I hope you get my drift.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 9:01 am Post subject: |
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im not very sure but in my analysis,maybe in certain married ppl's life lack of sexual satisfaction somehow gets connected in ratio to love offered.
maybe something like :
'he/she don't bother to please me because I'm not important to him/her'.
'he/she would have realy taken effort to satisfy me if im loved'. |
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Bruce Lee
Junior Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 53
Location: Seremban
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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a male female relationship based on LOVE will definitely include sexual intercourse.... bf/gf/lovers eventually get married to love each other , have sex rightfully and raise offsprings.....
the sexual part is vry important.....if there is slack in it for long periods it may affect the intimacy of the couple.....when intimacy is affected then slowly love is affected too....
but if the couple has bcome old & their sexual organs re not working....this is a different situation...they wil still love each other bcos they have in their memories the "old good times". |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | their sexual organs re not working.... |
ha ha ha...... 
Sex gets better when one ages..... But at that age, sex is not important for couples unless one of them is very horny.. 
Young couples must give priority for sex in their marriage. |
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Kon_Roy
Member
Joined: 16 Mar 2008
Posts: 370
Location: Dante's Inferno....
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| Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 7:31 pm Post subject: |
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Fascinating topic...
well....I guess it depends on the couple...
what if both party has no sexual interests but loves each other madly ??...
im sure they can love each other without having sex....
we know intercourse is the product of love...between a husband and wife...
in that case...its pure love I reckon...
but if the guy goes to some other girl...with only 'the drive' in mind..
im damn sure its not love....
im confused....
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suja@15
Junior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 66
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| if u ask me love shud b the ONE sustaining any relationship. So if the sex is good then its a bonus point but if its not then just improvise it. Why the heck one has to depend on sex alone to have a fulfilling relationship.... anyway... how long can good sex last?....... but good love can last for eternity. Nowadays society in general is getting all hooked up to modern lifestyle.... if not happy with husband in bed then jump to the next guy..... why not just b a whore... at least get paid. Why wreck a marriage? And i am not talking about the women folk alone.... their lifestyle is only known now..... thanks to the men the women r quite daring on their own adventures! |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | if not happy with husband in bed then jump to the next guy..... why not just b a whore... at least get paid. Why wreck a marriage? And i am not talking about the women folk alone.... |
awesome.....i like this |
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:29 am Post subject: |
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| suja@15 wrote: | | thanks to the men the women r quite daring on their own adventures! |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Thu May 29, 2008 9:49 am Post subject: |
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| suja@15 wrote: | | ..... thanks to the men the women r quite daring on their own adventures! |
such as? 
_________________
Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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