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VJeyaa
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 Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 12:21 pm Post subject: Which sustains a relationship more? Love or Sex? |
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This one is about the sustaining of a marital relationship. Everyone knows that sex is important in a married relationship? Question is how important is it really?
I heard stories about women leaving an otherwise perfect relationship for other men because they are not sexually satisfied, etc. Which means sex can be more powerful than love itself for them?
So which is more powerful? What sustains a relationship more?
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baby_witch
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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Its love... sex is an act of love...
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VJeyaa
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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| baby_witch wrote: | | Its love... sex is an act of love... |
And when they are unable to get the fulfilment of sex, do they read it as failing love?
The sequense will be seen like this;
1. Love is supreme.
2. Love gets expressed as sex.
3. Sex becomes unsatisfactory.
4. Intimacy is affected.
5. Love becomes strained.
Ultimately they look for love (aka expressed sex) elsewhere?
Is this also why it is so common for marital unfaithfulness? We are not talking about the West, it is so common in India or even here for that matter.
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Sun May 18, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | women leaving an otherwise perfect relationship for other men because they are not sexually satisfied |
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and vice versa.
Yeap, agree with you. This will only happen when there is no love and deep understanding between the couples.
If either party is deprived of sex or they feel so, they have to talk to their spouse.
Sex plays very important part in a marriage life. Woman folks, specially Indians should learn a lot to give priorty to sex. There is a say.....be whore in the bed"....for your husband. There is a reason why people come up with this phrase.  |
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rishi
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: |
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i think most (not all) married couples of this century, cant lead a good married life without sex. just look arnd us
when i say without sex, make it a duration of, say....4 - 5 years. not 2 or 3 months.
not that they dont love their partner, they are just human, not saint. some ppl can control their feeling. some just can't.
perhaps if the partner could satisfy his/her lust 'outside' without falling in love with a ny new character, the marrige can be saved.
this is because the partner found someone to share only lust not love. not so tough to leave a person sought for lust i guess. its harder to leave a person sought for love right.
normaly i hear stuff like this when one of the partner is ill (for a very very long time) or been oversee for too long or stuff like that.
once the situation is back to normal, no more problems. married life goes on smooth. |
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 9:57 am Post subject: |
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Rishi, do you mean something like getting prostitute or gigolo services? 
This option is the safest if you don't want to get involved emotionally or hurt the other partner. You might able to revert to your old self once your spouse is back but how about your partner who you have been using. Unless he/she fully agrees with the trems and conditions.
But then, what if she/he starts to blackmail you...  ...
So the solution is of course, control your lust and divert your attention somewhere else. If possible.  |
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rishi
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: |
But then, what if she/he starts to blackmail you... ... |
Pandai buat, pandai fikir le.........
or fikir sebelum buat le.........
lagi bagus tnya permission sama spouse le.... 
| MIRUGAM wrote: |
So the solution is of course, control your lust and divert your attention somewhere else. If possible. |
good idea, but where to mirg? |
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 10:39 am Post subject: |
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Tanya permission? Kena pukul dek penyapu ler....
Ok ...divert attention huh?...where to?....Maybe like upgrading our self....doing PhD...devote time in temple...gym or yoga perhaps.
Well...its easy to say.. |
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rishi
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 12:12 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | | Tanya permission? Kena pukul dek penyapu ler.. |
then sorok penyapu before asking.. 
| MIRUGAM wrote: |
Ok ...divert attention huh?...where to?....Maybe like upgrading our self....doing PhD...devote time in temple...gym or yoga perhaps.
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few months maybe ok.
few years maybe a little bit hard mirg 
Last edited by rishi on Mon May 19, 2008 1:22 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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| yeah...agree with you...it is hard. But having relationship just to satisfy your sexual urges is dangerous...how if it develope to something more serious. |
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VJeyaa
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Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 12:43 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | | yeah...agree with you...it is hard. But having relationship just to satisfy your sexual urges is dangerous...how if it develope to something more serious. |
Having a sexual liasion is not serious? Is it a trivial matter?
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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| More serious means...emotionally involved...like fall in love deeply and unable to detech yourself from the particular person when you want to. |
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VJeyaa
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | | More serious means...emotionally involved...like fall in love deeply and unable to detech yourself from the particular person when you want to. |
I am not sure if I understand the meaning of your �seriousness�. Ok, let me put it to you this way. Let�s say there are 2 couples. Couple A and B.
Couple A >>> the wife has a sexual affair with another man from her office.
Couple B >>> the wife develops emotional bond (or affair) with another man in the office but has never had sex with him.
You are saying B is more �serious� � can you explain why?
In my opinion A is more serious because generally, women NEVER have sex without being emotionally involved in the first place. So it is a fact that when a woman strays and has sex with an outsider, it goes without saying that she is already emotionally involved to a degree deep enough that she allows herself to have sex with the man. B is just in the development stage but might lead to a stage like A when the development is allowed to continue.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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rishi
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | | yeah...agree with you...it is hard. But having relationship just to satisfy your sexual urges is dangerous...how if it develope to something more serious. |
sometimes, no matter how hard it is for the partner, they can control their lust or 'need'. even when their partner suggests to them to seek 'outside' pleasure. they can't because they feel guilty. they can't bear to share the stuff they do in married life with a stranger.
actualy i would say this is the way it should be.
but then again, some just can't control their need.
in this situation, the person is already in trouble. its just a matter of how big the trouble is gonna be.
honesty and responsibility would be great help. |
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MIRUGAM
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| Posted: Mon May 19, 2008 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Jey, you got it wrongly.
Well...we were talking about couples separated for years because of work and so on....and rishi was telling about the spouse having affair without involving love...just sex. Then when the spouse is back...everything goes to normal.
So, I was saying what if the casual affairs turns serious like one of them fall in love or the other one decides to blackmail.
| Quote: | | Couple A >>> the wife has a sexual affair with another man from her office. |
Of course.......this is indeed serious. No doubt. |
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