The Malaysian Indian e-Community

VJeyaa · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 12:19 pm Post subject:

An example of the difference between a nice and right thing to do. Let's say you have to discipline your child by caning or any disciplining methods that work for you. It is definitely an unpleasant task for the parent as it is for their child. The child is their own flesh and blood after all. Yet, why do they say "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?
As unpleasant as it seems, as much as it is a "not so nice" thing to do, EVERYONE who has ever raised children will tell you that disciplining your child is the RIGHT thing to do. Even the Malays have this proverb that says "Melentur buluh biar dari rebungnya" which is pretty much what the earlier English proverb says.

So before some of you jump in and start hijacking this topic by arguing about the disciplining mattter, my point here is to make clear of the concept of "doing the right thing" versus "doing the nice thing". Sometimes you need to do the "not so nice" things which are in essence the right things.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES.

rishi · Senior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 620

VJeyaa · Posted: Wed May 21, 2008 1:30 pm Post subject:

Yes it can be tiring to argue on the main point as well as the unrelated side points that are given for purely explanatory purposes, as examples. Hahaha� it has heppened in the past, so needed to caution beforehand. Wink

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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES.

Bruce Lee · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject:

ok well it all depends on the situation......

say for example the guy is staying with parents & sis/bro in a small house which is just enough for them....the guy has a room for him...lets say there is no attached bathroom....when he marries & brings his bride she would have very little privacy....it would be best to stay out...

if there is ample of space for the newly wedded in the family hse....say its a big house....then it would be very unwise or even rude to stay out...

staying in ONE hse with our other working and married/unmarried siblings or relatives would also bring abt sensitive issues....bcos water , electricity , hse phone , astro....is being shared it would be quite "sticky" to determine who pays what....asking a person who doesn't use the hse phone to share the bill would raise his/her eyebrow...these ar jz sum examples im quoting....

blackmafia · Posted: Thu May 22, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject:

Bruce Lee · Posted: Sun May 25, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject:

tks black...... jz sum examples only....well the married ones wil knw a host of other pros & cons....

suja@15 · Junior Member Joined: 06 Mar 2008 Posts: 66

personally i believe one has to have his/her own space and privacy once they r married.... it is to get to know each other better as husband and wife. And its totally a different experience altogether. No offence to parents and parents-in-laws but they can make the poor couple's lives miserable. Being on their own the couple can make mistakes and learn from them... their own way...... it also helps them to build as a unit and not listen to other for every decision they make.... prepares them to become better parents themselves in future.

VJeyaa · Posted: Wed May 28, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject: