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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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 Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 4:53 pm Post subject: SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE, taboo? |
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What about this topic? Any takers?
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frags
Junior Member
Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Wed May 07, 2008 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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Indeed sex outside marriage is taboo. Which doesn't make it not a fact of life these days. Its quite hypocritical to expect women to be measured to a different standard of 'purity' to men.
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: |
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hmm..  |
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 9:10 am Post subject: |
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| sex outside marriage is taboo -- no doubt about that with indian family |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Thu May 08, 2008 4:10 pm Post subject: |
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Yeap...Indians are still concious about this thing-virginity and morality, no doubt as they only want the best for their son and daughter.
But is it a SIN to have sex with someone you really LOVE, when sex is actually love making? If we see sex as love making rather than as some kind of hideous act, we might able to accept sex out of wedlock more easily.
Well, i'm not encouraging our youngsters to sleep around but if we are grown up adults with stable life partner who we seriously considering to marry, then ...why not? 
Can two nice, loving and caring and civil minded people living together labeled as someone without moral values?
I rather call those idiots who litter around as unwanted pest around us. |
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rishi
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:57 am Post subject: |
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maybe thats y we should khawin empat 
then its legal.
when bored, cerai n khawin lagi |
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Bruce Lee
Junior Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 53
Location: Seremban
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 1:20 pm Post subject: |
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in my opinion it not a taboo.......if 2 souls agree to have sex then they shd just go ahead......a sin is a sin....there are no big or small sins.....
.....every religion teaches tht sex outside marriage is a sin....so its entirely up to the individual if they want to obey this religion call or not.....
...what abt those bachelors...spinsters....widows/widower.....where do they go for sex...???? come on... being humans...they too have "urges"....
if we implicate ourselves with too many do's & don'ts then life become complicated.....too complicated tht we complicate other people's life as well......take it easy & go simple.... |
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frags
Junior Member
Joined: 21 Apr 2008
Posts: 31
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | Yeap...Indians are still concious about this thing-virginity and morality, no doubt as they only want the best for their son and daughter.
But is it a SIN to have sex with someone you really LOVE, when sex is actually love making? If we see sex as love making rather than as some kind of hideous act, we might able to accept sex out of wedlock more easily.
Well, i'm not encouraging our youngsters to sleep around but if we are grown up adults with stable life partner who we seriously considering to marry, then ...why not?
Can two nice, loving and caring and civil minded people living together labeled as someone without moral values?
I rather call those idiots who litter around as unwanted pest around us. |
I think the main reason why sex out of wed lock is discouraged is that it is indeed no small matter. Sex affects us psychologically and physiologically and any couple deciding to go into that stage has to really think about it and take precautions. Communications as they say is very important.
I think generally the trend is that younger people these days are growing more mature at a younger age. However i don't see that trend in most Asian countries(and definetely ours) because ours is a spoon feeding society where youngsters are not taught to analyse the repercussions of their actions.
I think the old way of thinking about it is if people aren't ready or mature for it, then force them to abstain from it when they are still young and head strong. The main point is parents need to talk to their kids more about these kind of things.
Like Uncle Stan says, with great power comes great responsibility. In this case as children grow up they get more freedom and they have to realise that they have to be more responsible for their actions.
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Bruce Lee wrote: | in my opinion it not a taboo.......if 2 souls agree to have sex then they shd just go ahead......a sin is a sin....there are no big or small sins.....
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This is like saying if 2 guys agreed to rob a bank, they should just go ahead. 
No matter how many people are doing the "wrong", it doesnt turn it into a "right". Even if 10 000 ppl are doing it, a wrong is still a wrong.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Bruce Lee wrote: | in my opinion it not a taboo.......if 2 souls agree to have sex then they shd just go ahead......a sin is a sin....there are no big or small sins.....
.....every religion teaches tht sex outside marriage is a sin....so its entirely up to the individual if they want to obey this religion call or not.....
...what abt those bachelors...spinsters....widows/widower.....where do they go for sex...???? come on... being humans...they too have "urges"....
if we implicate ourselves with too many do's & don'ts then life become complicated.....too complicated tht we complicate other people's life as well......take it easy & go simple.... |
Actually it is PRECISELY the DOs and DONTs that can make one's life manageable and un-complicated. If we didnt have the DOs and DONTs then the order of the day will be the law of the jungle. Everyone will be lawless, immoral and there will be no safety for everyone to live. This is why we need laws and rules, DOs and DONTs. So that everyone can live in a civilized society with peace.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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DO and Don'ts are created by humans for other humans selfishly to make their life easier. Don't you think so?
wELL....FOR SEX....DO WE NEED THE DO AND DON'Ts rules?
When there is love and care, sex between two adults should not be confined in a word "marriage".
Agree with frags that parents need to help their children in this issue but once the children become adults, parents should step aside. Can we poke around to find out about their sex life? Unimaginable. |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: |
wELL....FOR SEX....DO WE NEED THE DO AND DON'Ts rules?
When there is love and care, sex between two adults should not be confined in a word "marriage".
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If supposing your spouse were to become close to a colleague and there is much "loving" and "caring" and closeness. Would you consent if they were to have sex? Does that seem okay to you since you mentioned that sex wouldnt be confined to "marriage"?
Fidelity is one of the DOs and DONTs of marriage. Since you asked if we really need the DOs and DONTs, what would your position be to this scenario?
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Sat May 10, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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jey, when two unattached people get together, it is not called ADULTERY, and they normally don't hurt anyone with their love or care.
BUT it is different with married couples. If a married person were to betray his/her spouse, do you think the unwritten DO and DONT'S would stop them. Only their self - control and their love towards their family would stop them from indulging in such an act.
Two loving adults has nothing to fear and no one to hurt. They should enjoy the company of each other. Why divorce love from sex? |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 8:06 am Post subject: |
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| MIRUGAM wrote: | | jey, when two unattached people get together, it is not called ADULTERY, and they normally don't hurt anyone with their love or care. |
really? what is this called then?
Any sex outside of marriage has only one name.... PROMISCUITY.
| MIRUGAM wrote: | | BUT it is different with married couples. If a married person were to betray his/her spouse, do you think the unwritten DO and DONT'S would stop them. Only their self - control and their love towards their family would stop them from indulging in such an act. |
Whatever it is you are trying to conjure, no matter what is holding them back, end of the day they are still bound by the DOs and DONTs of married fidelity. That is why, they DO certain things and that is also why they refrain from DOING certain things. The motivation is regardless or the cause is regardless. Bottom line is you are still talking about DOs and DONTs.
| MIRUGAM wrote: | | Two loving adults has nothing to fear and no one to hurt. They should enjoy the company of each other. Why divorce love from sex? |
My question to you is this;
1. Would you or would you not consent to you daughter being in a sexual relationship with a guy without being married? If you knew that she is in a such a relationship, would you encourage her? If yes, please explain why.
2. What is your guarantee that the couple who had engaged in sex will marry each other without fail? Is it OK for you if they do not marry?
3. Has sex become so cheap to you?
4. What is the meaning of sex to you?
_________________
Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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Bruce Lee
Junior Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 53
Location: Seremban
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| Posted: Mon May 12, 2008 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| VJeyaa wrote: | | This is like saying if 2 guys agreed to rob a bank, they should just go ahead. |
hahaha........ya..ya....sumthing liike dat.....even if its 3 guys then they shd just go ahead...  |
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