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VJeyaa
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Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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 Posted: Tue May 06, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: ARRANGED MARRIAGE vs LOVE MARRIAGE, which is better? |
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Anyone wants to debate this?
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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rishi
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Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:43 pm Post subject: |
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rendumae thollai VJ  |
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MIRUGAM
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Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:50 pm Post subject: |
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Arranged marriage is no longer practical.
Parents should encourage their kids to find someone they think they can live with happily.
Change of mind set is very crucial for Indian community in this issue. |
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rishi
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Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 620
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject: |
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appadi chollungo mirg...
if the children cant find anyone, then no one should force them to get married.  |
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MIRUGAM
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Posts: 456
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 1:58 pm Post subject: |
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I serious think that forcing their children to get married with stangers is a barbaric act.
Parents can help but should not determine the person their children should marry. |
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rishi
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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mirg, ur d best  |
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MIRUGAM
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Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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thank you rishi....
i guess you're battling with your parents with this same issue huh? |
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rishi
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Posts: 620
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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| pochi po.. |
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LoveSeeker
Junior Member
Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:08 pm Post subject: |
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love marriage is suicide
arrange marriage is a preplan murder
hehe
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LoveSeeker
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Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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love marriage....it works but y does many lovers tend to stop loving after marriage....statistics shows that out of 10 love marriages..atleast 4 will end up in divorce within 5 years....why is this happening...m not blaming or accusing anyone here.....love is not blind....so dont tie a cloth around its eyes...open up ur mind and see the person from within...regression after marriage is total foolishness
Arrangged marriage applies for those who are too busy with their careers, failed in previous love, have no desire to live on or for those who really thinks their parents are able to look out for someone suitable....
if u ask me.....i prefer for an arranged marriage....cos i know my parents wont choose the wrong one..... |
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MIRUGAM
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Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | .....i prefer for an arranged marriage....cos i know my parents wont choose the wrong one..... |
Hi LS, i totally disagree with this trust on our parents. They are humans too and some of them can be very naive and trusting.
The most any parents would know about the prospective bride/bridegroom are their age, family background( sometimes from third person), job and maybe the physical look. All these enough for a couple to get together and live happily. Unless both of you willing to for go and tolerate lots of thing in your life. That is not easy.
Love marriage fails because, lovers usually love the outer look of the person. The mesmerising eyes perhaps or the social status or the fat pay check?...When they get married and start to stay together, no more pretending...no more well groomed person in front of you, instead you might have to tolerate some worst bad habits such as nagging or sleeping most of the time...ha ha ha....believe me... |
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LoveSeeker
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Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 2:49 pm Post subject: |
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truly agree with your statements mrgam....but the accusation or let me put it this way...your opinion about parents trustworthiness....i kind of agree and disagree on that...50/50...if u ask me to go out and look for a girl..then i wont do that...enuf doing it earlier...m not pinpointing any girls here....but through my experience...i fell for a fren of mine...she was so gud as a fren but....her transformation as a girlfren was really scary...shuddering...she begin to demand too many things....which i dont expect and anticipate....she is good...but i found out that she is not my cup of coffee....though i tried talk to her....she could not accept...so we decided to end the relationship....the experiences and the unpredictable transformation really drovem me crazy.......it doesn't stop there...
My cousin sister got married...so called love marriage some 7 years ago....today after all this days....she regrets marrying him....he is such a irresponsible men, he have 3 cute kids but pretend to be bachelor...comes back home late..always equip himself with 1001 excuses and reasons.....why is this happening....
all this and many more keep my feet off the lovey dovey streets....
furthermore i have no time to look for my lover....so i just leave it to my parents to decide......
each individuals has their own preferences...... |
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VJeyaa
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Feb 2008
Posts: 673
Location: The weight room...
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:06 pm Post subject: |
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Well said LS, I can relate to what you went thru. I've been thru a failed relationship myself but it failed for different reasons. That is when I was introduced to my wife by mutual freinds. So in this sense mine was definitely an arranged one. But I courted her for more than a year and got engaged and we did fall for each other before tying the knot. So is this a love marriage then? I dont know. Maybe a hybrid? hahaha...
Anyway I am deeply convinced that marriage is indeed made in Heaven and it is God who decides a partner for you no matter how strongly you feel you have made the choice yourself.
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Before you criticize someone, make sure you walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize, you're a mile away and you HAVE THEIR SHOES. |
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blackmafia
Junior Member
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 167
Location: Deepest part of hell!!!!
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:17 pm Post subject: |
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hi guys,
just wanna share my opinion here....
marriage is a marriage....what we need in a maariage is tolerance and understanding....human evolve thru relationships....human behavior varies from one relationship to another....hence the transformation of LS ex-girlfriend....
for example, just think how u act when with ur friend, family and wife.....you yourself have so many ways to recognize ur relationship to another party.....so when u get married prepare for changes to come.....the changes will be significant over the time....not because of the marriage but age and need.....so both of them must try to understand the other changes and needs....rather than complaining they changed.....we ourselves love people to understand us when we going thru some changes mentally or emotionally....so why we refuse to accept other peoples change....
when in love the behaviour is different and more relaxed because u r not heavily equipped with family responsibility....but after marriage u have a lot responsibility to carry as husband/wife....this tend to give us pressure...smart way is to control that pressure not blaming on other party......so that is why u can see changes in ur lover after he/she marries u....
so for me it is not about arrange marriage or love marriage that lead to divorce but human behavior and refusal to accept partner's changes over the time....
my humble opinion |
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MIRUGAM
Member
Joined: 07 Mar 2008
Posts: 456
Location: IN THE CAGE
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| Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | not about arrange marriage or love marriage that lead to divorce but human behavior and refusal to accept partner's changes over the time |
yeap that too...and the failure to adapt and the desperate urge to change your spouse according to your taste.....that is a big NO NO.... |
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